Tonight I am tired, not from physical exertion as in years past but from trying to calm the roaring crowd noise in my skull. I have been a doer and a creator of things most of my life, built companies, created opportunity for others and provided products and services that have defined most of what and who I always thought myself to be.
I am starting to understand how small my thinking and in truth all of my accomplishments, have really been to this point in my life. It is not, that I do not take pride in those things that have shaped me over the years I do, I must, for they are all I have in my bank of self-worth. An account that has been overdrawn and empty for some time now.
I have allowed my own self pity and external influences not inline with my best interests to guide my thinking for far too long. Today my mind may be full of chatter, but it is a faraway noise that is starting to clear and define itself, I believe it may be my own thoughts I hear starting to connect after such a long silence. I must continue the exercises in order to rid my mind of the chatter and bring clarity to one voice, my own voice that has been silent too long. Perhaps, peace will be the journey after all.
Success to all, Mac